Friday, October 30, 2009

Has it really been a year????

I haven't posted in two months, in fact I skipped my eleventh month update. My last post was on August 29,2009 and on August 30, 2009 my husband and I separated. It was at the same time, expected and shocking. The specific details are private between me and my husband, but I think its fair to say that we both started going in different directions and weren't able to find our way back to each other. It has been a year of constant change, and this is the beginning of another chapter in my life. MY new, you didn't want it, but here it is single life. I'm coping using more change, I got a kitten, I'm painting several rooms in the house, I've moved the furniture in my house, I've joined a gym. I wish I had profound words to say here, but I don't. There are good days and there are bad days and I hope that soon the good will out number the bad. I am grateful for the support of my friends and family, not just for their support in the last two months, but for the last year.

The bad news is the stress and the change have led to difficulties eating. Most of us are familiar with the "break up" diet, this time it has sent me 25lbs down instead of up. I am tired and I lack energy, but I'm hoping as I adjust and my appetite comes back I will level off my weight and my energy will come back up. Even now I can run circles around the girl I used to be. I'm happy to leave her behind.

A year out I find myself a different me, different in ways I never thought were problem. I have more self confidence, I never thought I lacked that, but I feel comfortable walking into a room now, I don't feel uncomfortable being the center of attention, though there are those who know me that would argue I've always enjoyed being the center of attention, I would argue that I'm pretty good at faking it.

For the first time this decade I weigh less than two hundred pounds, I don't have my one year pictures with me yet, but I promise to get them up soon. In the meantime, here's huckabee for your viewing enjoyment.