Letting Go

I have six contractors bags full of oversize clothing in my garage. All that is left to do is pack it in the car and take it to the good will. It should feel good to get rid of them, purging the old me and bringing out the new. Literally getting big of baggage so to speak. Even with the small issues I"m having right now I have zero regrets about this surgery. I found the real me hiding under all that weight. What I don't know is why can't I get rid of the bags? Hopefully I'll find an answer to this question soon.

6 Month Update (Gosh has it been 6 months!!!)

These are self explanatory by now, then and now:

Doctor Update

I saw my surgeon today about the problems I have been having with food. His best guess is that I have developed a stricture and possibly an ulcer. I will have an endoscopy on Monday morning to figure out what is going on for sure. If it is a stricture they can fix it during the endoscopy, if it is an ulcer they will give me medication to take care of it.

For those of you who do not know what a stricture is, it is a narrowing of my esohpogaus as it enters my stomach and makes it very difficult for food to get through.

Exercise Update

I've been limiting my exercise because of my food intake issues, but I have been trying to stay active. Yesterday I went to the NC fairgrounds with a friend and walked around the Southern Woman's Home Show and the Flea Market for about four hours. It was more like strolling, but I was out and about.

Today I did about two and a half hours of vigorous cleaning and by vigorous I mean the kind of cleaning where you break a sweat. I'm not sure Richard Simmons would call it exercise but I'm counting it.

Tailbone Update

I really hope this is not a case of speaking too soon, but this is the first day since surgery that I have had no pain in my tailbone. Not even a twinge, the pain is totally and completely gone. Now lets hope it stays that way.

Tailbone Pain

Shortly after my surgery I began having pain in my tailbone and lower back. I went to an Orthopedic doctor and went to physical therapy for about three months, the pain in my back was caused by an unstable "SI" joint, and the physical therapy and doing regular exercises to strengthen my core has eliminated that pain. However, the pain in my tailbone gets worse with every pound that I lose. Today I got a cortisone shot right over my tailbone. I have heard some horror stories about it, but the shot itself was not that bad, the whole thing took about a minute and then it burned for about thirty seconds. I am sore right now but I hope the pain goes away soon.

Still Can't Eat

Today is the worst day I've had with regards to eating since right after the surgery. Everything I try is sitting like a lead weight in my pouch. I am not in any pain, but I'm uncomfortable most of the time, but especially when I eat. I spoke to the nurse at my surgeon's office about this again and she thinks it is time to come in and be seen. I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday and a strong feeling that there is an endoscopy in my future. I keep trying to convince myself that this is all in my head, but today I felt sick after eating half of a hard boiled egg, in the past I could eat two eggs in a sitting with no problem so clearly something is going on.

So as a result of all the problems with eating I have not been able to exercise, I am only taking in about 500-700 calories a day which is not enough to keep my blood sugar from crashing when I exercise. It has also kicked my body into a stall with the weight loss. I am hoping that the surgeon can get to the bottom of this quickly so that I can get back on track.

The nurse did say that if solids were giving me a problem I could just give up on them for now and do a liquid diet this weekend. That sounds great to me and maybe if I give my pouch the weekend off it will like me again.

Spring is in the Air

Went out with some friends today on a beautiful spring day. Took a few pictures, I haven't taken my official six month photos yet, but this gives you a good idea of my progress.

Rave about Tea

A few months ago when my coffee obsession started my husband predicted I would go back to tea before too long. Well I have the other day when I was at the mall I wandered into a store that sold hoity toity tea, the equivalent of a Starbucks for tea. I tried two samples and I was hooked, I never realized there was a difference between fancy tea as my husband calls it and the box tea from the grocery store, but there is and it is truly a treat. If any of you have trouble with liquids like I do and want some more variety I would recommend checking them out. Their website is www.teavana.com. Right now I particularly enjoy their Rooibos Tropica (tastes orangy and fruity and is scented with Jasmin) and Rooibos Chai (tastes like a chocolate chai). Its not cheap, but for me it has been worth it so far.

Today's Exercise

Went walking today with a friend and walked about three miles in forty minutes, we walked at a pretty good pace so I'm proud of my exercise accomplishment.

I did a little better in the food department today, I had yogurt for breakfast, curried chicken salad for lunch, cheese snacks for a snack and homemade chicken pot pie without the crust for dinner. I talked to the NP at my surgeon's office today and she has doubled my dose of Prilosec to see if that helps with the issues that I'm having. I also put a call into the dietitian to see if he has any suggestions for me. I'm feeling more encouraged today and hope that this was a phase I have passed through and things will go back to normal soon.

60 Day Challenge: Day ?

Not sure what day I am on in the challenge but I have been trying to keep up with my daily activity. Today was one of those great spring days in NC, 80 degrees, not a cloud in the sky and a slight breeze, I went out with my parent's dog and I walked three miles.

WOW Moments

I toyed with the idea of surgery for a while but one of the real clarifying moments for me came when I was looking through a photo album and realized that I didn't have any pictures of myself with my nieces or family, that I was slowly eliminating myself from pictures and my life cause I couldn't stand the way I looked. This week my nieces came to visit and I happily took pictures with them. It is so nice to be able to capture these memories instead of just reliving them in my mind. This is my life and I'm back.

You fall down, you get up again

I haven't updated the blog in a while and its because I've been going through a blah period. It feels like I have taken several steps backwards with food. Generally I have been eating about half a cup of food at a meal, but lately at some meals I am able to eat a few bites and then I am full. It is possible there is something anatomically wrong, it is also possible that I've gotten lazy about chewing and need to go back to basics.

Dumping has not generally been an issue for me, but I find myself getting nauseous about once a day on foods that I have eaten many times before without a problem. The only way to really resolve what is going on is to make a trip in to see my surgeon, I will be scheduling one as soon as possible.

As a result of the problems I've been having eating the thought of eating is now making me feel sick. I'm forcing myself to eat but I've been supplementing with protein shakes to keep my calories and protein up. It has been about two months since I last had to rely on them to get my daily required intake.

The good news is I don't have any pain and there are times when I can eat like normal. This may mean that the problem is not physical but a mental aversion to food. Even though I am frustrated I am determined to keep going. I've stumbled but I knew this process would be difficult and I am going to do what I need to to meet this challenge.

I may be turning a corner at this point, today was the first time in a while that I was interested in food, I developed a craving for some curried chicken salad I used to make a lot so I am going to make up a batch tomorrow and see how it goes down.

The good news is I bought some new shorts today, SIZE 16 and I am down 136 pounds. Other than the issues with food I feel great.

Roller Skating

The other night I went roller skating for the first time in 16 years. I fell and busted my butt but it was still an exhilarating feeling. I never realized how much of a workout skating was, but I definitely worked up a sweat. I can't wait to go again.

Starbucks, it is time to say goodbye!

This is a very sad day for me, I love my Starbucks, I don't however love the discomfort I've been having in my pouch lately. It was not actual pain, just discomfort that seemed to get a little worse when I drink or eat. It was mild at its worst, but definitely not normal and felt very similar to the way I felt on the two occasions where I forgot to take my acid reflux medication.

I was halfway convinced I had an ulcer but could not figure out why the pain was transient. I woke up this morning and had breakfast and felt fine. One hour later the discomfort was back, the culprit, coffee. So for now it is time to say goodbye. I will miss you coffee, you've been a good friend.

Moodiness

I am not generally a moody person. I tend to be fairly upbeat most of the time, with occasional bouts of OCD. Since the surgery I have noticed my moods tend to fluctuate more than they used to. I don't know if this is because I was drowning these emotions with food in the past or if it is because of the hormone changes from surgery. The occasional bouts of unprovoked anxiety mean my house is cleaner than it has ever been. I have heard this is common after surgery and it is only recently that I started paying attention and notice that my moods are changing much more rapidly than they used to.

Just for Fun!

Hair, Hair, Hair

My hair is still falling out, some days it comes out at what seems to be an alarming rate. I try to calm myself and remember that this will eventually stop. Here are comparison pictures;

PRE HAIR LOSS








POST HAIR LOSS









So be honest, can you tell?

Issues with Food: Good News and Bad News

The good news is I CAN EAT STEAK!! I finally broke down tried it about a week ago and no problems. It is a much denser meat than what I've been eating and so it makes me feel full much quicker, but no pain and it doesn't make me feel sick. I've truly missed steak and I am really glad I can eat it again.

The bad news is that even though steak agrees with me some things that I have eaten in the past that agreed with me are now making me sick. There does not seem to be a rhyme or reason to this, sometimes I will eat something I have had many many times and half an hour later it will make me feel sweaty, nauseous, and weak. It could be the start of something called reactive hypoglycemia, which means my body is overreacting to insulin that it releases to digest food, or it could be that I have developed dumping syndrome. My next follow up appointment is in May, but until then I will continue to experiment with my diet and see if I can find a common denominator.

One other bit of good news, I have not had a blood sugar crash for the past three weeks. While one problem seems to have been replaced with another, it is comforting that I don't have random moments of worrying that I'm going to pass out.

Neglecting my Blog: 60 Day Challenge (What day am I on?)

I've been guilty of neglecting my blog, I've just been out living life and got a little distracted from updating on here. I've tried to stick with the exercise routine and I am living a more active lifestyle in general. On Friday April 3rd I walked around Ikea with some friends, we walked around for about three hours and did it in four inch heels, those of you who don't think it counts as exercise haven't walked in heels.

Today April 6th, I walked with a friend for about thirty minutes. We normally walk longer but we did it at a much more intense pace today. Unless its raining we will walk again tomorrow.