Changes

What would life be like if I hadn't has the surgery. I'm pretty sure that I would still be living the same existence that I did before the surgery. The one that got me to the point where I needed surgery to get my weight under control. Where I was stressed out and so focused on others that I never took time for me. There was always one more thing to do for work, or for a client or for someone else, that I got lost in the shuffle. I'm not lost anymore, I feel like i've taken control of my life in ways that I never did before.

The biggest change is the pride I take in me. I used to get up about thirty minutes before I was required to be somewhere, shower, run a brush through my hair and off I went. Now I actually get up early to get ready, I blow dry my hair, I put on make-up, I wear pantyhose (those that know me well know of my life long hatred for pantyhose, I didn't even wear them on my wedding day.) I take pride in my appearance, I feel better when I look put together. Its also been a frustrating change, I am far more critical of my appearance now than I was before.

I went clothes shopping for the first time, I thought it would be a fun experience. The first day it was overwhelming and I got so frustrated that I came home with nothing. First, everything I took into the dressing room was too big, and I appear to be right in between two sizes. One was very baggy in the legs and the other gave me the oh so attractive muffin top. Clothes shopping was a lot easier 100 lbs ago, not a lot of choice, I was too big to camouflage anything and the rule was, if it zipped I bought it. I still look at my closet some days and wonder what the helk I was thinking. The second day I went back with a better attitude and a game plan and I found some outfits. I'm posting pictures here of the ones I think were winners, let me know what you think. You should be able to leave a comment and it will go up as soon as I approve it.

I've noticed people treat me differently, they smile more, engage in conversation with me more, go out of their way to talk to me. I don't know if this makes me sad or not. I can't figure out if it is because people are treating me differently because I've lost weight, or because they notice the changes in me.