I haven't posted in about a week mainly because I have been trying to adjust to how different things are. When I left you last time I was completely focused on food, thinking and dreaming about what I would eat, when I could eat it, how excited I would be to be able to feel normal again.
I am now on the opposite end of the spectrum, no only am I not thinking about food I am completely repulsed by it. Eating is a chore, there is no more joy in it. My life is consumed by food rules, how much I can eat, when I should eat it, how I should chew it, what order I should eat it in and even when I follow the rules some things just don't feel great. Tonight I ventured out to a restaurant for the first time since the surgery. I went to Red Robin with Jeff and my parents to have a belated birthday celebration. I was able to eat about one third of the burger patty and that was it. Right now I'll just keep trying, one day at a time until eating feels normal again. I've talked to others who have had this surgery and they assure me that the way I feel is normal and that it does go away, eventually.
On a positive note, I am down 42 pounds, bad part is my wedding rings are getting very loose, I can probably wear them for another month at the most, then it will be on to a cheap wedding band until it is time to resize them.